lafinjack: (donk... donk... donk...)
A current band that only posts their stuff on Soundcloud. Does Soundcloud sell things now? Apparently not, at least for this band. And their Soundcloud music tracks have only heavily buried links to iTunes. Strange, they don't have a Myspace link.

Apple must have relented on not letting you reset your password and reuse a password you've had in the past 73 years. They insisted on shoving a web browser into iTunes itself for the iTunes Store but they sure do send a lot of vital account functions out to external unverified (aka non-iTunes) browsers, and insecure emails. In other news, it looks like the last time I bought something from iTunes was 2014. I wonder why.

Bandcamp looks like they have figured out how to let you buy more than one album at a time. This web store shopping cart thing may catch on, people. But they charge you individually for each artist, and for each item that artist has collaborated on with a different artist. And if you want to use Paypal they tell me you have to approve each individual payment manually. Patreon only needs to charge you once and they seem to know how to parcel out money. Patreon doesn't know how to Paypal correctly, though. Didn't we figure out this ecommerce thing out years before Amazon got started? Why are we still having these troubles?

Oh come on, now a different current band is putting out a two track full album but is only on vinyl. I thought we were better than this. Amazon has buttons on the order pages of paper books so you can request the publisher to make an ebook version, but they don't have one for dipshits who release on only vinyl. We got people willing to put their credit score on the line to lease a car simply to drive around and shove crappy printed copies of their crappy band's crappy physical CD in your hand, why can't you let me give you money for your crappy album? I hope you are a literal starving artist, and starve sooner than later.

I know for a fact that at least thirty percent of the artisanal vinyl crafting boutiques out there would not refuse to accept an email with digital files stuck to it. And we're almost back to half of the industry accepting any digital formats at all and not certified organic Aleutian honeybee wax cylinders hand carved by Tunisian celibacy pact Capuchin spider monkey monks (paid at fair trade with full benefits and strict OSHA compliance) or more even more ancient music formats, like 8-tracks. It's not for lack of industrial resources or philosophical purity that you were forced to have music that would touch the internet at some point.

This other band over here. They're a Mongolian cosplay group from 1970s Turkey. Even THEIR shit is on mp3. Get with the program.

Meanwhile this other troupe has robbed a massive record store and is forcing the customers to watch one man molest a sixpack of kazoos while another is breaking drumsticks on a pair of electric keyboards and later what is either a cooking pot or a Bavarian World War I era battle helmet. This hostage situation is reported to be in its seventeenth hour. I will keep you informed.

Reading over this, I may have exaggerated a bit. In truth, only twenty percent of artisanal vinyl crafting boutiques accept email, and they all e-scowl at you and hold their e-noses when forced to do it.

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lafinjack

July 2017

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